2/3/23

This school year has been particularly tiring. A myriad of work, swarms of people, insecurities. The days flash by quicker than a cheetah wearing nikes. Today, the final stretch of the first semester, we cleaned our classroom.

It looked uncanny given that we were very used to a dirty classroom ridden with dust and broken chairs, so seeing this new and improved cleaned room was definitely a surprise. 

It hasn't been a year since we've been here yet it feels most of us have made history in this simple room. 5 more months we're moving up, hopefully without succumbing to death, but I feel like that's an exaggeration.


I write all of this down to remember. There will come a time where I will only remember the feeling of everything and not experience it the same way. I guess that's fine, only looking at the past without moving forward won't do anything beneficial to your progress.


Tomorrow our semestral break starts, only lasting a week. I have no particular plans to do other than discover new music, finish Norwegian Wood, and play games. The usual pastime of the high school student, and there's nothing wrong with that. Complaining about other people's leisure only gives you pain in the long run, for you criticise what makes people happy, of course this has its limits but we won't talk about that today.


Right now I am laying on my bed. I am listening to Kagayaki by Masakatsu Takagi and it's a very pure musical project. I'm writing all of this on my phone while the music plays on my laptop. I just finished showering 5 hours ago and my towels are all dry. My shirt is white and my pants are a shade of dark gray.


I think about what could possibly happen this second semester, my hopes for the following months to come.

I want to write more to articulate my feelings to readers, I want to create, I want to finally write a song without any difficulty holding me back.

My dreams are becoming more clearer as I've been getting help for my own conflicts, writing down all of my dreams has been a neat trick for that. Even if the dreams can be silly at times, I want to remember them all. It's too fun to pass and even the most pointless are worthwile because it gives us joy and bring us all together.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

∆

listen, listen, listen. you're right. why should i throw judgment for someone i'll never truly know? they're no me. i've not put on their socks. i've not bathed in her bathtub. i've not worn her clothes. i've not drank the water from her tap. i've not seen through her glasses. i've not used her earphones. i've not read her books. i've not watered her plants. i've not held her hand. i've not lived. we're lost. i'm lost for saying it myself! the way descartes says that he's an individual thought, how he's an isolated mind, how he thinks therefore he is, how he's a "pure individual" Cogito, ergo sum, Je pense, donc je suis, all of that nonsense. that doesn't exist, that's not true. he focuses on the thouht that people are points that are isolated from one another. that's not true. you are what is around you. everything you are, you have learned from others, and others learned that others also fro...
Read more

3/11/23 3/12/23

 3/11/23 The sky under me today had no clouds. Take it as you will, the way you think is up to you. You can think of it as it being clear like a proper mental state. You can think of it as it being empty like an teenage boy's soul. Your life to this point shapes how you see the world around you. I'm using the weekend to pick up where I left off from Murakami's Norwegian Wood, I love the way Murakami narrates events happening in the book when told from the first person. It feels autobiographical, as if you're seeing what's happening through your own eyes. Reading the dialogue is a fun treat too, the words flow naturally from the characters' non existent mouths. They're realistic, like Murakami has that personality himself.  The only real complaint many people and I have with Murakami is the way he writes women. There was this one part where a female character, Midori Kobayashi, was cooking for the main character, "She wore slim blue jeans and a navy T-sh...
Read more

3/1/23

 3/1/23 Good morning from Caloocan City. I'm writing my essay for english class and I am inspired to write my entries for today. My right hand hurts from writing too much with a pen, switching to my keyboard would be a nice way to relax. My writing heroes would laugh at what I'm doing, but I wish they'd cut me some slack, I am spoiled by my phone keyboard. Our adviser found our classmates showing public display of affection again. It's silly of course but I don't think I have the right to insult them for I would probably do the same thing. One of the thoughts I've gathered while she was talking was the feeling of my hand being held during school, ironic situation. The last time that happened when I was still in elementary, the funny thing is I still wasn't aware she had a crush on me I just thought it was a friendly gesture. Only now I realize how stupid I was but I don't think that matters now since that was more than 5 years ago.  I have this friend wh...
Read more