3/11/23 3/12/23

 3/11/23

The sky under me today had no clouds. Take it as you will, the way you think is up to you. You can think of it as it being clear like a proper mental state. You can think of it as it being empty like an teenage boy's soul. Your life to this point shapes how you see the world around you.

I'm using the weekend to pick up where I left off from Murakami's Norwegian Wood, I love the way Murakami narrates events happening in the book when told from the first person. It feels autobiographical, as if you're seeing what's happening through your own eyes. Reading the dialogue is a fun treat too, the words flow naturally from the characters' non existent mouths. They're realistic, like Murakami has that personality himself. 

The only real complaint many people and I have with Murakami is the way he writes women. There was this one part where a female character, Midori Kobayashi, was cooking for the main character, "She wore slim blue jeans and a navy T-shirt. An Apple Records logo nearly covered the back of the shirt. She had incredibly narrow hips, as if she somehow skipped the growth stage in which the hips are solidified, and this gave her a far more neutral look than most girls have in slim jeans. The light pouring in from the kitchen window gave her shape a kind of vague outline." 

The way Murakami writes his women is silly, even if the situation isn't sexual he manages to find a way to make it sexual. Nothing sexual was happening in this scene, Murakami just wanted to write about this love interest's hips. This is said to be more of his tamer ones too, there was this one part in Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World where the main character talks about earlobes in a sexual manner. Murakami likes to expose himself in every book he writes, and I'm all for it.

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My younger brother's addiction with electronics is becoming a problem. A problem for my parents but more of a problem for him. He's refusing to bathe if it means he has to take time off his laptop. He hates going outside and when he does he keeps on asking when we're going home. He wakes up at six in the morning to hop on Roblox. It's starting to become a massive concern. Not that I want him to avoid playing altogether, atleast being on it for a couple hours would be okay. Waking up and picking up the mouse is depressing, even though I'm doing the equivalent by picking up my phone first thing in the morning. I lose the first precious hour of my day and all the wisps and tendrils of dreams that I could've possibly remembered. I hope we find a way to improve this situation altogether.

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3/12/23

Busy month we're having so far. March, it's almost summer. You'd think it would be hotter than usual but the setting's near perfect, next week won't be any different though. A barrage of schoolworks are thrown on me yet I choose to lie down on my bed and write to you. I haven't showered yet, oddly enough I don't feel bothered by it. I'm listening to Ichiko Aoba's 0 (my favourite album of all time) on my mother's earphones because I lost mine. My dog is beside me, I like playing with his face for it's very soft. My dog usually goes up to the window and barks at a cat that's usually on the roof, I smile. There's nothing I can do about him not being able to reach the cat, and the cat doesn't have to do anything about it. The worst my dog could do here is bark at him.

My dog doesn't feel like a dog sometimes. He does what dogs usually do, he shits and pisses where he likes, he eats whatever food goes in his bowl, he drinks water when given on a pail, he barks at things he sees outside. He's a dog, but everything else about him feels humanlike. He shows happiness when he's told or shown that he's being loved. He shows sadness when we go outside and he doesn't come. He shows fear when he sees something he's unfamiliar with. He shows anger when he wants to get something. I want to know what goes through my dog's head. Living in his mind for one day to know what happens would be nice, I could also have a free day off.

It's these type of days that I want to last forever. I don't want fun days, that can be tiring after a while. I don't like sad days, being depressed your whole life isn't something anyone should live with. The perfect day for me is the sparse, warm, and mellow day. 

I'll have to be productive soon, I have much to do. After I shower I'll go to my laptop and finish any school works I have to catch up on.