2/26/23

 2/26/23

I forgot to write yesterday.

Not exactly forget but more of, "Nothing really interesting happened yesterday." 

I'm sure I could have written something because the greatest writers could have written about anything and it would still be good. But I didn't feel like anything would be interesting.


I want to write about more mundane experiences, something so boring people who read it would feel the same boredom. Do you understand how hard it is to create something nice? To sit before your work and fail, and fail, and fail. My hands are covered with small cuts of which I do not know the origin, as if the act of writing gives them injuries. I haven't created anything good in over a month, just pure dead air. I've trailed myself through a depressive sequence from which nothing good could come out. I think I see the other side.


Had dance practice for PE today. I was a horrible groupmate. I kept on looking at my phone and chatting away with my friends when my groupmates were practicing my steps. I also took too long when ordering food that they had to wait for me for a few minutes. I almost wasted 20 minutes of their time waiting for my order in McDonalds. My main goal for this semester should really be self-improvement, I feel like this is the only case where doing it for others is fine. I should be a more cooperative person when it comes to groupworks, I don't want to be that person who gets carried by groupmates. The last time that happened I felt a sense of guilt. I should sleep less in class, it's embarrassing now that I think about it. Imagine you're teaching in this class, then you see this kid in the front row near the door just dozing off. The first step I should do to remedy that is to sleep much more earlier! I haven't been getting enough rest, which has given me more acne, and more feelings of exhaustion. I'm killing my BODY.


We're going to be performing tomorrow. I'll wake up at 4AM to go to school at 5AM to practice there. I don't know if my bandmates are going to be there that early. Maybe they will then I'll me the last one to arrive. I have a reputation for arriving late, also something I should change about myself. That will be the last busy thing I'll be doing for a while. This week I will try to catch up on my missing school works so I won't fail this quarter too. Also a self-improvement reflection.


Clock hit 11. Time to go to sleep.

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