You Must Believe In Spring by Bill Evans

 It seems I always go back to jazz no matter how hard I try.

We'll be talking about You Must Believe In Spring by Bill Evans.

 

This is it.

Everything in Bill Evans' life has not been friendly to him in some way.

"In late 1959, Evans left the Miles Davis band and began his career as a leader, with bassist Scott LaFaro and drummer Paul Motian, a group now regarded as a seminal modern jazz trio. In 1961, ten days after finishing an engagement at the New York Village Vanguard jazz club, LaFaro died in a car accident.


Evans's heroin addiction increased following LaFaro's death. His girlfriend Ellaine was also an addict. Evans never allowed heroin to interfere with his musical discipline, according to a BBC record review article which contrasts Evans's addiction with that of Chet Baker. On one occasion while injecting heroin, he hit a nerve and temporarily disabled it, performing a full week's engagement at the Village Vanguard virtually one-handed.


In 1973, while working in Redondo Beach, California, Evans met and fell in love with Nenette Zazzara, despite his long-term relationship with Ellaine. When Evans broke the news to Ellaine, she pretended to understand, but then committed suicide by throwing herself under a subway train. Evans's relatives believe that Ellaine's infertility, coupled with Bill's desire to have a son, may have influenced those events. As a result, Evans went back on heroin for a while ... During the late 1970s, Evans kicked his heroin habit, with the help of methadone, only to become addicted to cocaine. He started with one gram per weekend, but later started taking several grams daily. His brother Harry's suicide may have also influenced his emotional state...


At the beginning of a several-week tour of the trio through the Pacific Northwest in the spring of 1979, Evans learned that his brother, Harry, who had been diagnosed with schizophrenia, had committed suicide at age 52. This news shocked him deeply, and some of the concerts had to be canceled. His friends and relatives believe that this event precipitated his own death the following year." (Wikipedia, sorry research teacher!)

Bill Evans life at this point was at its lowest point, how he got through with recording this record is so astounding.


This album is the type of jazz where if you don't know the finer details, can be easily dismissed as background music or maybe cafe jazz. Sure, I can see it working like that. 

But to reduce it to just that is a massive disrespect to what Evans has been through all his life. 

This is beautiful, mellow, subdued, nuanced, peaceful, sentimental, melancholic, and many more buzz words I can use.

This reminds me of waking up to a rainy morning and preparing a hot cup of coffee. This reminds me of waiting for your beloved at the bus stop. This reminds me of resting at your armchair while sitting near the fireplace. 


Two of the tracks here are dedicated to two special people in his life, his ex-lover and his brother.

Bill Evans wrote B Minor Waltz (For Ellaine) for his late wife who committed suicide by throwing herself onto train tracks which ended her life in 1970. 

He wrote We Will Meet Again (For Harry) for his late brother who died of suicide. After the suicide of his brother, Evans stopped his hepatitis treatment, resulting in him dying a year after, in 1980.

As tragic as they are, these don't feel sad to me. They're beautiful and nostalgic in a way. Maybe this was the purpose? Not to mourn, not to cry, but to go back to the beautiful memories of those that have been lost. This for me, serves as a reminder of the small things we have in our very short lives, things come and go and as cliche as it may sound...

Nothing lasts forever.

Those fond memories cannot stay for much long.


Listening to this album paints pictures in my head. 

When Bill Evans lays his hands on the keys of the piano, he paints pictures on the blank canvas of our imagination. Paint fills the canvas... an image forms out of nowhere. Trying to decipher this album is near impossible because it's so much more than just music. Describing it in technical terms is useless and mundane. Describing it in a way where I can tell you what this album shows me is a better way of giving it justice.


I see a lonely man walking in a park in winter, he has a trench coat, jeans, and a beanie on. His hands are in his pockets and is looking down as he walks. It looks like he's going somewhere, where is he going? 

As I ask that question, he just walks farther and farther away before he disappears before my very eyes.


Bill Evans, I want to thank you. Even though you aren't around to see or hear it, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for your wonderful music.

"He who believes in spring even through the bitter times of winter..."

Believing in spring is the hope that it will come after winter.

Your spring will come soon enough.



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