listen, listen, listen. you're right. why should i throw judgment for someone i'll never truly know? they're no me. i've not put on their socks. i've not bathed in her bathtub. i've not worn her clothes. i've not drank the water from her tap. i've not seen through her glasses. i've not used her earphones. i've not read her books. i've not watered her plants. i've not held her hand. i've not lived. we're lost. i'm lost for saying it myself! the way descartes says that he's an individual thought, how he's an isolated mind, how he thinks therefore he is, how he's a "pure individual" Cogito, ergo sum, Je pense, donc je suis, all of that nonsense. that doesn't exist, that's not true. he focuses on the thouht that people are points that are isolated from one another. that's not true. you are what is around you. everything you are, you have learned from others, and others learned that others also fro...
3/11/23 The sky under me today had no clouds. Take it as you will, the way you think is up to you. You can think of it as it being clear like a proper mental state. You can think of it as it being empty like an teenage boy's soul. Your life to this point shapes how you see the world around you. I'm using the weekend to pick up where I left off from Murakami's Norwegian Wood, I love the way Murakami narrates events happening in the book when told from the first person. It feels autobiographical, as if you're seeing what's happening through your own eyes. Reading the dialogue is a fun treat too, the words flow naturally from the characters' non existent mouths. They're realistic, like Murakami has that personality himself. The only real complaint many people and I have with Murakami is the way he writes women. There was this one part where a female character, Midori Kobayashi, was cooking for the main character, "She wore slim blue jeans and a navy T-sh...
3/5/23 I doubt my writing abilities alot and the way I cope with it is not exactly healthy. I don't write for a while and do something else, it's something I'm working through. Ideally it'll be resolved just by pure action alone but I don't know how to get there. In any case, the first thing I should do is not worry about the output of my writing. The future steps, I'm not sure of yet. I should perhaps avoid writing when I'm tired, the last time I think I wrote well was when I was writing during the day, I might do that more. I forget the whole reason I started writing and posting these is because I wanted to document my life. I keep on worrying about impressing other people that its become a setback for me. It's much easier to say "Don't worry about it." than to actually do it. I need to be more casual about my writing. Even if I say that casualness is the tone I go for, I keep overthinking and overburdening myself. I want to feel more c...
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